When she becomes aggressive

Have you ever wondered why nice people suddenly become aggressive? Most times you hear people say ‘she was never like this before, what happened? Why and when did she become this aggressive? This is one situation most women go through at various stages in life or relationships. This lady narrates what made her aggressive. “As […]

Have you ever wondered why nice people suddenly become aggressive? Most times you hear people say ‘she was never like this before, what happened?

Why and when did she become this aggressive? This is one situation most women go through at various stages in life or relationships.

This lady narrates what made her aggressive.

“As a new bride all I wanted for myself and husband was a happy home. But about a month into my marriage, my mother-in-law started making a fuss over everything I did and said. Being a new bride all

I could do was to cry my eyes out. This went on for years and the more I tried to adjust to whatever she wanted, the more she made me feel inferior to her son. My husband on the other hand believed everything his mother said and always told me the guilty ones are those who cried.

“After six years, I decided to pay them back in their own coin. Anytime my husband or his mother attacked me, instead of crying, I would just tell them sorry and walk away.

And other times I had to be very vocal and aggressive at the same time. This newfound attitude actually gave me some respite because my husband and in-laws actually let me be and gave me some respect.

It’s been 13 years now and I sometimes regret my aggressive nature because I was never like that. On the other hand, being aggressive saved me a lot of trouble. Since then, I never judge an aggressive person as you can never tell what made him/her become aggressive.”

Moji Adegoke, 34-yearold mother of three, says, “Aggressiveness is believed to never solve anything. But in some instances, one needs to pull back and take the bull by the horn. In the African setting, it is believed that the woman doesn’t have a voice of her own and when she speaks for herself or challenges the norm, she is termed aggressive. I would say that she isn’t being aggressive but living life the way she wants it to be. Marriage involves open communication and if the woman has to cry herself to sleep then that is a cage and not marriage. More women will stand up for themselves and it will be misconstrued as aggressiveness.”

Halima Ahmed, 39-year-old teacher, says, “Women become aggressive when they tend to have been taken so much and have reached their tolerance limit. Marriage is never a bed of roses and so there will be challenges and trials. On the other hand, a woman who grew in an abusive home or has a past of men abusing her can become aggressive and very hardened when relating to men. Most times, it’s not that she intends to be aggressive but she has to put up that aggressive nature to protect herself and emotions.

We are women and we are very emotional, most of us change when our hearts have been tampered with. I was so meek but sometimes I ask myself when and how I allowed myself to become aggressive. I am trying to change that though as I can’t allow bad people change my beautiful personality.”