Where is our Rage?

I am not going to write about the girls abducted from Government Girls Comprehensive Secondary School in Kebbi State’s Maga town. I mean I want to; I really want to; but when I remember that I once wrote an op-ed piece in this same paper eleven years ago about the Chibok girls and the emotions […]

I am not going to write about the girls abducted from Government Girls Comprehensive Secondary School in Kebbi State’s Maga town.

I mean I want to; I really want to; but when I remember that I once wrote an op-ed piece in this same paper eleven years ago about the Chibok girls and the emotions that seized me to tap furiously away on my keyboard as I imagined those young girls being forced into moving vehicles in the dead of the night….It’s just not the same.

I do not feel the same rage I felt years ago. I am ashamed to admit that I do not feel the overwhelming sadness, have nightmares or feel the same horror feelings that cursed through my veins all those years. Instead, I feel a sort of numbness.

Like many others, I said a quiet prayer for the girls and moved on.

Is it age? Is this what growing up does to one?  Is it acceptance of failure? Have I given up? Where is my rage? Scrap that, where is all our rage?

The truth is, the rage has vanished! I heard about the abduction, the same way I heard about the arrival of the Duke of Edinburgh in Lagos; over the news, as I drove to work. The OAP who recited, because that is what she did- recite-. she did so, so dispassionately that I nearly missed it.

Did I just hear right? Another school abduction? The Vice Principal was killed?

This woman just glossed over the abduction, commenting that it had been condemned by the Northern Governor’s forum and then continued with the news on the FCT Minister’s shenanigans and PBAT’s meeting with the Duke. Later, the station played music and discussed Regina and Senator Ned.

That is what we have become.

A nation of people who have become so desensitised to wars, abductions, and crime primarily due to repeated and continuous exposure to violent content through the media, a psychological phenomenon known as desensitisation. This process is compounded by the bystander effect and a growing sense of powerlessness and anxiety in response to overwhelming global events.

President Trump threatens Nigeria; we turn it into a comedy material fit for ‘Night of a thousand Laughs’. One person even commented that DJ T should look into this year’s NYSC list, that it seems Christians have been shortchanged, with more Muslims being posted.

I am worried about my lack of rage. I do not want to be this person that lacks emotion. Desensitisation directly impacts empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. And this is important.

This constant exposure to violence has led us to perceive violence as a normal part of life, inhibiting our ability to connect with victims’ pain.

Think of the wars in Ukraine and Israel-Gaza. The shocking events at the start of these conflicts were new and unexpected, elements psychologists know draws the mind’s attention. As time passed, media coverage continued, but these events are now less likely to lead the news, nor cause public uproar. Sadly, when a war lasts months or years, research suggests that an extra week of fighting does not have the impact it did on day one.

I remember putting myself in the shoes of the mothers who lost their children during the abduction of the Chibok girls. I remember asking the question, ‘how do mothers breathe?’

Well, it turns out, they will breathe just fine as long as the Nigerian government is concerned.

Eleven years later, same story, different reactions.

Do you remember how the whole world stood still when the Chibok girls were abducted? Do you remember how President Jonathan first denied it? Do you remember how it was used to ruin PDP?

How about now? Nothing! Pim! PBAT has issued orders to find the girls and it’s been days now.

Instead, Nigerians want to discuss Wike at Wadata Plaza, Wike,Yerima, Regina and Ned and a certain tech guy’s sexual proclivity.

Concerned, I called a friend who is a psychiatrist. I wanted to know where my rage was. Was it under my bed? Had it left me for another woman? Is that how I will remain, this emotionless creature? She gave me two options.

Option A: I may have joined other Nigerians in the bandwagon of apathy. Apparently, becoming emotionally distant is an unconscious coping mechanism to manage the anxiety and distress caused by constant exposure to traumatic events. This emotional numbing helps us protect our mental health, but the side effect is a reduced capacity to respond to others’ plight. 

Option B: I may be depressed. Feeling emotionless and feeling hopeless are strong symptoms of depression.

Which one can you cure?, I asked. Option B, she replied.

Fine, I will go with option B. Anything to get my rage back.

I like to think that one of the reasons, my patients like me, is because I put my heart and might into treating them. I go above and beyond. I imagine you are my sister, brother, parents or even a grandmother going through distress, and I hold your hand and give out the occasional tissue to wipe your tears. That empathy I have for the patients- that is my gift.

What happens when I become so apathetic and desensitised that I lose my gift?

Shikenan fa! I just became a regular cold boring doctor. Tufia kwa!

I cannot fail as a Nigerian and then fail as a doctor.

Because we have failed these girls, all of us. For Eleven years, we have screamed our voices hoarse, advocated for better security and fought with our might and keyboards, yet nothing has happened.

Here we are eleven years later, in the same bloody conundrum.

In 2025, in this era of GIS, Intelligence tracking and AI.

Maybe there is hope. Afterall from history, we have seen many horrific and seemingly permanent situations, like apartheid or the slave trade, which were once accepted as a norm  become reversed.

They changed. And circumstances we don’t want to be part of our children’s futures, or ours, can too. This proves that the circumstances we wish to prevent for our children’s future are not fixed and can be altered.

We just need to dig deep and find our rage again. Please, let us not give up.

Maybe mine is in the garage. I will check again tomorrow.