Who did this to us?!

Part One: The man who opened our national closet In Hausa land, we have a supplicative refrain: “Allah ya rufa mana asiri” — may Allah preserve our secrets. It is a blessing you offer to king or pauper, a humble admission that we all have a closet. And if you have a closet, there are […]

Part One: The man who opened our national closet

In Hausa land, we have a supplicative refrain: “Allah ya rufa mana asiri” — may Allah preserve our secrets. It is a blessing you offer to king or pauper, a humble admission that we all have a closet. And if you have a closet, there are bones in there — rest assured. Some have whole cemeteries stuffed. But we give people benefit of the doubt and pray Allah keeps them sealed.

Enter Daniel Bwala, President Tinubu’s spokesperson. He travelled all the way to London for Al-Jazeera’s Head to Head with Mehdi Hasan — and proceeded to personally air his own closet before the whole world. Nay, our national closet. He was a senior government representative; hence he was speaking for Nigeria and Nigerians. All of us! He accepted an interview with Mehdi Hasan, no less, but forgot to prepare for the skeletons Mehdi is famous for digging up. God, why now?!

Mehdi began pulling out Bwala’s past statements from when he was opposition spokesman supporting Atiku Abubakar. He played clips. He showed dates.

“You said Tinubu started a militia to sway the election corruptly,” Hasan put to him.

Bwala’s response? “Tinubu didn’t create a militia, and I never said that.”

My people, ehn! This was denial with the confidence of a man who believes that if he says it loudly enough, the recording itself will change. Hasan cited another claim about suspicious cash movements into Tinubu’s residence. “I never said that,” Bwala replied again. When confronted with clips where he alleged Tinubu’s people threatened him: “I never said that.”

At a point, Mehdi told Bwala that he saw a video released by Bwala on the Internet complete with thematic music, in which he was preparing for the interview together with a whole team. “What were you preparing for?” asked, Mehdi.

At this point, 200 million Nigerians groaned in unison. Was he not aware these things were recorded? Did he think Al-Jazeera’s researchers went on holiday?

When Bwala eventually offered a defence, he claimed his earlier comments were mere “political rhetoric made in the heat of the campaign.” But my brother: you cannot wash your mouth with soap and claim you never ate the “bula”, or tuwon daddawa. Words spoken remain words spoken.

After the interview went viral, Bwala cried selective editing, claiming nearly 20 minutes were omitted. But selective editing cannot create words never spoken. Unless Al-Jazeera has developed deepfake technology, Bwala did indeed say “I never said that” to things he clearly said.

People supplicate to Allah to keep their closets sealed. Bwala went to London to open his own with his bare hands. Defending this government is Herculean enough — between fuel subsidy removal that turned transport fares into flight tickets, a naira taking “travelling” too literally, and inflation making you count change twice even for pure water. If you have whole cemeteries in your closet while doing that, God have mercy!

Bwala went as senior representative of Nigeria. Basically, he opened our closet to the whole world — while we’ve been here during Ramadan praying Allah to keep that closet closed.

Who did this to us?! Wanene ya yi mana wannan yawa fisabilillahi? Whose idea was it to send this man?

Part Two: The war they chose, the price we pay

If Bwala’s performance was self-inflicted, what is happening in the Middle East is strangers wounding strangers while we bleed on our laps.

The US and Israel launched air strikes on Iran February 28, 2026, killing Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, 170 school girls and a whole bunch of Iranian leaders. What followed is a conflict with goal posts shifting faster than a roadside mechanic chasing customers. President Trump first targeted military sites, then threatened Iran’s main oil export hub “a few more times just for fun” — while global oil markets convulse.

The Strait of Hormuz, through which 20 per cent of world oil passes daily, is now contested. Iran effectively closed it to US and Israeli-linked shipping. Missile strikes brought traffic almost to halt. The International Energy Agency calls this the largest oil market disruption in history.

Now follow the math. Nigeria is still susceptible to global energy market shocks despite producing crude, despite the Dangote miracle refinery — yes, make we explain tire. Global prices surge, our import bill surges. Import bill surges, pump prices surge. Everything surges — transport, food, rent, even sachet water.

Since war began, Dangote Refinery increased ex-depot price by N101. Retail prices flirt above N1000 per litre in most places, up from around N820. Transport fares don hammer, and goods prices dey follow body.

The government’s response? Abeg, make we laugh small. They announced 100,000 CNG kits would roll out for vehicle conversions. CNG is cheaper, yes. But where are the kits? Where are dispensing stations? Promises we fit chop?

Meanwhile, other countries take actual measures. South Korea introduced fuel price caps. Brazil cut federal taxes to zero. US released strategic reserves. Nigeria rolls out promises nobody can keep.

The crisis is dangerous because both sides won’t back down. Iran’s Guard vowed to target “economic centres and banks” linked to US and Israeli interests. Hezbollah entered the fray. Over 800,000 displaced in Lebanon alone.

But here’s the part that should make every Nigerian sit up: Iran announced Russia and China are providing military support. Iranian Foreign Minister confirmed “close cooperation” including military cooperation. Kremlin openly states Russia is not neutral.

China’s position is delicate. Ninety per cent of Iranian oil exports flow to China. Since April 2025, these exports settle in renminbi. The Strait of Hormuz is critical to China’s energy security. Analysts suggest China sees opportunity to challenge US leadership while protecting Belt and Road investments.

This is how both world wars started — regional conflict, complex alliances, then snowball rolling downhill. If Iran falters, Russia and China may up their involvement. If they up involvement, NATO’s position may shift. Trump already demands allies help secure Hormuz. So far, most declined, but pressure mounts.

Even without a world war, this remains a raw deal for us. Nigeria’s oil production hovers below OPEC quota. Higher global prices mean higher export revenue — 2026 budget benchmarked at $64.85, prices now above $100. But that revenue is useless if ordinary people choke on transport fares and food prices.

Who did this to us?! Whose idea was this war? It was certainly not Iran’s, not America’s alone — combinations of choices in distant capitals by people who will never feel paying N1200 for fuel. They won’t queue at filling stations. They won’t calculate whether to eat or transport.

And we remain here, praying “Allah ya rufamana asiri” — that our closet stays sealed — while Bwala opens it in London and wars open them in the Middle East.

God when? As we say: This life no balance at all.