Who’s like El-Rufai the bulldozer?

After all didn’t the prophet talk about the wide roads to perdition trod by many and a narrow one leading to justice? So, news coming from Kaduna shows that el-Rufai whose Abuja moniker is the Bulldozer cannot be redeemed. Get me wrong if am right, but he hasn’t started demolishing the illegal structures that robbed […]

After all didn’t the prophet talk about the wide roads to perdition trod by many and a narrow one leading to justice? So, news coming from Kaduna shows that el-Rufai whose Abuja moniker is the Bulldozer cannot be redeemed. Get me wrong if am right, but he hasn’t started demolishing the illegal structures that robbed the northern capital of its repute. Perhaps that’s because he is yet to lay his hands on the Lugard master plan. Once he gets it, the poor would wail and the rich can cry in the rain taking free lessons from Anyim Pius, Ahmadu Ali and others whose sewer-line mansions were ruthlessly brought down for the restoration of the Abuja master plan. The poor may appeal to their chi.
The ritual of feeding the Ummah during the Ramadan is a populist policy by governments and religious entities that won’t touch beer, tobacco, whiskey and burukutu but have nothing against the fat VAT it rakes in. They smile when they share that along with the monthly oil windfall in Abuja. Feeding the poor with haram money is halal act of spiritual cleansing. I’ve no idea what the evil servants in Kaduna think of this move. It would appear that neither they nor the contractors who benefit from the scheme are likely to support el-Rufai’s tenancy in Government House Kaduna with their multi-million-Naira-scam tank effectively blocked.
States that subscribe to the feeding programme make millionaires of contractors and the evil servants who sign their bogus vouchers. This decision may have serious effects on el-Rufai’s popularity with those on the waiting list of the governor’s hajj list for this year likely to be disappointed. Right now, the Muslim credentials of el-Rufai are being called to question; ex-communication is in the cards and his case may be referred to the Grand Mufti.
Populism is the magic that wins votes. Ask the Ogbeni of the State of Osun, whose Opon-Imo and dubious social welfare policies have sunk a N24 billion sinkhole in the state’s economy and left a disillusioned and angry evil service. Let’s leave out the public ridicule until we find the national meaning of shame. While people are grumbling in Kaduna, some churches have organized emergency food kitchen for hapless Osun workers – Ogbeni is still flying his helicopter and teaching religious ethics to attentive tafsir audiences outside Oshogbo.
In Bauchi and Port Harcourt incredulous things are happening. Isa Yuguda, a true Muslim who interprets Allah’s injunction on marriage with a unique blend of federal character and social balance is in the court of public opinion. According to his detractors, he not only left a near empty treasury, he settled his four wives with cars to match the colour mode of any day of the week and the hue of their purse, shoes or hijab. Rather than commend him for reserving a space for little known Bauchi in the crowded Book of Fashion Wisdom, the wicked went to town with a story of his harem’s 22 cars. They would have caused matrimonial disharmony by insinuating that one wife had more cars than the others. As governor, those spreading such malicious information would have spent time in Bauchi prison until the governor had mercy on their souls.
In Port Harcourt, Nyesom Wike, the butcher of Port Harcout has been poking the nose of the lion of Ubima and any loyal member of his past cabinet. Those who ridiculed Mama Peace should never be allowed to rest in peace. So, Wike imported el-Rufai’s bulldozer concept and with a quaternion of armed kill and go, ‘invaded’ the home of Amaechi’s information commissioner, Ibim Semenitari. The poor girl, who is handsomely built like a lioness was away but couldn’t take either her house, her husband’s Mercedes Benz or her own properly monetized Lexus jeep. The troop smashed their way into the garage with forklifts to load the cars into a waiting crane, then they issued a statement telling the world how Amaechi bought and allocated bullet-proof Mercedes Benz cars to his aides. Ibim would have preferred a court warrant which may come after the act.
Usually, once you’re out of office, you are guilty of any accusation. So it doesn’t really matter where the truth lies. Ibim, who ran a successful media outfit prior to her appointment is licking her fingers right now. So is Yuguda. Meanwhile Wike is hanging on the balance of probability of the electoral tribunal. The jury says he could be out in the cold but his supporters some of who killed for him believe that his manipulative sins would never find him out. What Naija people are voting for right now is who gets the coveted title of ‘the bulldozer?’