Who should pay the bills?

It is seen to be normal in African culture for the man to pay the bills in a relationship or marriage but arguments that tabs be split among a couple continue to surface. Also, may believe that if a wife earns more, she should settle bills. Paying the water, electricity, school fees, feeding and health […]

It is seen to be normal in African culture for the man to pay the bills in a relationship or marriage but arguments that tabs be split among a couple continue to surface. Also, may believe that if a wife earns more, she should settle bills. Paying the water, electricity, school fees, feeding and health bills have always been a cause of concern for most homes and recently we heard of a man who set himself ablaze in Abuja because he could not take up the responsibilities of his family. Questions were raised as to why should it be the responsibility of the man alone to take care of the family. Womanhood sought views and shares with its readers some of the interesting opinions gathered.
Olivia Gore, 34, says ‘’there is nowhere where it is written that responsibility of the home is solely for the man. It should be a fifty-fifty thing. Both parties should be responsible it still baffles me when I see that even independent women still expect the man to be responsible for everything in the home simply because he is the head of the home. Marriage is all about supporting each other and not just one part providing everything.’’
Even as some respondents say that responsibilities are to be shared amongst couples there are still a strong belief that the man, as the head of the family, should be responsible for settling bills but the rules can be bent a little to suit whatever situation. Grace Udie-Anah believes the man is supposed to, “But with the situation of things in the country and everyone having to deal with the high cost of living, some responsibility can be shared. But if a couple are staying in a rented apartment, it’s the sole responsibility of the man – not the woman – to handle it,’’ she explained with a smile, adding that other bills can be shared.
Nidia  Mudekunye is of the opinion that the responsibilities should be shared but that is should be done in a forty-sixty ratio which leaves the man having the higher percentage. 
Adeshola Adewusi, a teacher, says the head of the home should be responsible with the help of the wife. But when he cannot genuinely meet up, his wife can support. “As a couple we are one flesh and the husband is the head of the house, and we join our finances together. We sit down together and allocate the funds. On top of that my husband should give me weekly or monthly upkeep, for myself which helps me provide for my own personal needs and not having to wait for him to do everything for me’’
For banker Anuilika Samson, being in a relationship or marriage is a partnership and should be treated as such. ‘’My man and I split the rent in half and I pay utilities since I make more than he does. Besides, he’s saving for his professional exam. This system works for us. Whatever we earn, we both put into the household joint account. If our relationship must work, we need to make sure that there are no money issues.’’
Interestingly, an argument was even backed up with writings form the Bible. Ezeifedikwa Ikechukwu, a civil servant, said: “As it was written in the Bible, a man that cannot provide for his family is worse than an infidel.” He added that the wife’s part should always be seen as one of support and not to be taken as compulsory.  “She is our helper, not our co-pilot and since men request for maximum respect, we should take up the responsibility and do our own part.”
Omolara Johnson is of the opinion that money should be paid by the husband, but when things get tough, a good wife can come in to help. But Mgbeadichie Chioma questions why a couple should decide to marry and spend their whole lives together if bills have to be paid by only one partner. “Frankly speaking, taking care of the home should never be a monopoly. Both parties to the marriage are now one and to that end they should pay the bills together.”
Ogo Okafor said common sense would dictate that whoever is working should make financial contributions. “If both are working then they should both share; if just the man then him; if just the woman then her. Even in the case of both it would depend on how much each person is earning.” And Sobodu Modupe summed it all up: “Being a Yoruba lady, the truth is, the man is solely responsible for the upkeep of the house. It all depends on the kind of life the couple is living. If the husband is financially okay and the wife is prudent in spending, all the bills will be paid with the husband thinking his wife contributed to the paid bills. In a situation where the husband is not financially ok, a good wife will help with the bills if she has money and make people believe it’s being paid by her husband, thereby protecting her husband’s dignity. The bottom line is that if the couples love, trust and understand each other, paying bills won’t be a debate.’’