Who wins: Kachikwu’s Ohanaeze or Baru’s Katsina mafia

Americans insist that they hold the bar by which other nation’s democratic standard are measured. If it were not so, we would have left them with Trump and faced our own democratic inanities in Africa. For instance, while restructuring is still trending on social media, at least in some circles, a not so new buzzword […]

Americans insist that they hold the bar by which other nation’s democratic standard are measured. If it were not so, we would have left them with Trump and faced our own democratic inanities in Africa. For instance, while restructuring is still trending on social media, at least in some circles, a not so new buzzword has joined the lingo – insubordination. It fizzled into obscurity after the military returned to their barracks.

Before we analyse insubordination, let’s say that if Donald Trump’s men ever call our diplomats to order over Sai Baba’s democratic conduct or comportment, we should remind him that we were watching his handling of Hurricane Maria and the impact on Puerto Rico long enough to faithfully conclude that all mothers do have them.

But in our case, not since the Ikeja Cantonment blast of 2002, have we witnessed the level of insouciance that characterised a presidential handling of a crisis as Trump did on and in Puerto Rico. Obasanjo had told displaced people in Ikeja that ‘I don’t have to be here’. It was one of the lowest moments of his unenviable presidency. The ruining class of today simply ignore any form of heckling.

Sai Baba made his second trip to Haramistan since he was elected and spent more time with our gallant troops on Independence Day than he spent anywhere else. You can take the soldier out of the barracks, but you can’t take regimentation out of him. For once, Sai Baba did not blame President Jones for anything he saw there. Trump was different. Before he had lifted a hand to do anything for Puerto Rico, he was in an unprecedented twitter war with its leaders, accusing them of exaggerating the crisis, being manipulated by the Democratic Party and their officials of indolence.

When it appeared that didn’t work, he changed his bullying tactics to the excellent job his first responders were doing there and fake news’ boycott of all that for whatever sells their trade. And when he finally dropped his golf stick to fly down, his comportment was anything but presidential. He told a grieving people that their tragedy has thrown the American budget ‘out of whack’. You would think Puerto Ricans invited the tragedy on themselves. After confirming that ‘only’ 17 people had died in the tragedy, Trump observed that such casualty figure could not be compared to ‘a real tragedy’ like Hurricane Katrina. Then he left for a shelter where he was tossing relief materials at victims like a caddie throwing tennis ball. With his election rhetoric on Latinos, and his Tweetorial war with Puerto Rican politicians, the people simply did the needful in such circumstances – tolerate him with patient of a bull in a China shop. He soon moved to Las Vegas where he became a tad presidential. America’s 45th president behaves as if some people need to be treated with compassion than others.

Back home, the second chapter of the Sinnator vs the IGP is loading with the man from Misau hurling accusations of impropriety against his quondam former superior. That is a screenplay for the guys in Hollywood so let’s go to insubordination. Ibe Kachikwu the man who once held the knife and the yam of oil in Naija is bemoaning his fate as the boy who took over at NNPC seems to have side-tracked him in it’s day to day running. The resulting effect would have been bearable if Kachikwu had unfettered access to Sai Baba’s new office believed to be adjacent to Sai Mama’s the Aza Room. 

It’s double whammy when a subordinate takes over the running of the agency you supervise with seeming nepotistic impunity. Kachikwu’s leaked letter portrayed his hopeless helplessness. From the way my good friend Idang Alibi put it, Kachikwu was not impressed that somebody hacked into his computer overnight and leaked a letter meant for the eye and ears of the president only. This is a serious security breach and I hope the Russians who are America’s usual suspects – are not linked to this. We don’t want a spat with Putin. Some hacking businesses are benign, as Sai Baba finally agreed to meet his favourite minister. Ohanaeze need not add this to the litany of woes redeemed either by restructuring or the rebirth of Biafra. 

Let’s hope that when that meeting takes place, the transcript would make it to the front page of Daily Trust  on Sunday. We have been clinching glasses here as recognition for our professionalism is swelling. If Kachikwu chooses the occasion to drop his resignation letter for the job he has told us many times he did not quite need, we would not be surprised. What should shock us is if after the meeting Sai Baba doesn’t say (as Donald Trump said of Rex Tillerson after the later was quoted as referring to him as a moron) that Kachikwu has ‘my full confidence.’ 

Even in a democracy, insubordination is a serious crime. Those found guilty should be seriously sanctioned to send a serious signal that it would not be tolerated even if the Katsina mafia backs the perpetrators.