Who would you support during misunderstandings, spouse or family?

When it comes to disputes between a family member and a spouse, one gets caught in the middle over whom to support. This issue has often thrown many families in disarray. How best can we handle it when it happens? Lifextra finds out. Ina and Mosa have been married for five years with a son […]

When it comes to disputes between a family member and a spouse, one gets caught in the middle over whom to support. This issue has often thrown many families in disarray. How best can we handle it when it happens? Lifextra finds out.

Ina and Mosa have been married for five years with a son and a daughter and they live happily. Mosa’s younger sister came to live with them and she started to make life difficult for Ina, always finding faults with everything she did. Whenever an issue was reported to Mosa, he wouldn’t say anything because he was caught in the middle; between his wife and sister. He didn’t know who to support.

According to African beliefs, especially here in Nigeria, it is assumed that once an individual gets married, it is not just the man or lady that the other person is getting married to. It also includes the family members of the ones they are getting married to.

But then when there’s a misunderstanding between either of the spouses and the other’s sibling, the other partner is left in the lurch as to whom to support.

LifeXtra sought people’s opinions on what they would do if they found themselves in such situations.

Kubwa-based Chidinma Peace, self-employed, who is in her mid-20s, said she would prefer her family to her spouse though she admits that both are important. “My family will always be there for me and in fact, if my family did not take care of me, my spouse wouldn’t have met me and he wouldn’t have known that I exist,” she surmises. Peace added that she hopes her spouse would find it in his heart to forgive her in this circumstance.

“A nuclear family consists of a father, mother, and the kids if any. Every other person related to me by blood is an extended family member. People need to understand that once you get married, that person you got married to is now your number one priority,“ says Uche Joshua, a web designer.

He adds that once married, even one’s siblings and parents become extended. “It is pathetic to hear people who are married say that my parents and siblings are number one,” he argues, stressing that married people have to “grow up, spouse first.”

Edor Martha, who is in her early 30s, also concurs with Uche. She explains that she would always support her spouse despite all odds: “After all I’ve gone through with him and my children? They are the ones that are always there for you 24/7.”

Shulaxy Excel, self employed, would rather remain neutral in the matter no matter what. “Supporting one person over the other would mean taking sides even when the person is wrong. So I would just remain on my own,” she stressed.