Why aren’t some men excited by female kids?

Mrs Adewunmmi Ojo (not real name), a mother of four girls, narrates her experience thus: “After being nervous about taking a gender test because my family keeps saying this time I should have a boy after having four girls, I asked my doctor to check the gender for me. After a while he said, ‘Congratulations […]

Mrs Adewunmmi Ojo (not real name), a mother of four girls, narrates her experience thus: “After being nervous about taking a gender test because my family keeps saying this time I should have a boy after having four girls, I asked my doctor to check the gender for me. After a while he said, ‘Congratulations you are having another girl.’ The disappointed look on my husband’s face was heart-breaking and as soon as we were out of the doctor’s office he said:‘Another girl? I needed a boy badly and we are having another girl.’ I felt so disappointed not because we will be having another girl but because my whole family will be disappointed when they find out I will be having another girl. I too am beginning to be disappointed in myself. How can I handle this situation? Ojoasked her friends this question during a small sallah get-together.
Rachael Orlu,a 40 year-old civil servant advises that: “The only way to handle this is keep your head high, look your family in the eye with a smile on your face and say yes, we are having a girl and I love her already. Note that women have the girl chromosomes (XX) while the male has XY chromosomes. If he gives you an X you produce a female, if he gives you Y you produce a male. Gone are the days when people craved for male kids. Women are now ruling the world. Be proud of the baby God has blessed you with. It’s time the men knew this piece of info regarding the sex of children and stopped the blame game!”
Obianuju Okoye,a 30 year-old caterer says people are just being ignorant and testing God: “People really get on God’s nerves, girl or boy are God’s blessings. So many are out there crying and having sleepless nights just to be blessed with the fruit of the womb or even a miscarriage and here we have people talking of baby gender after having four children. All I have to say is that such ignorant people are only trying the patience of God. There is power in spoken words let us watch what we utter, that baby will be the one to wipe the tears of her parents in future. I suggest they start thanking God for the gift he has given them. Ignore whatever your family say because God will still give you male children.”
Nnenna Chijiokem, a 34year-old mother of two, suggests that they should be grateful to God as many couples are marking their wedding anniversaries without kids: “Many have no child to show for their union but here we have people complaining about gender of an unborn child, believe me God knows the best. I would leave you with this Igbo proverb which says ‘your attitude will determine what people will tell you.’ When the baby girl is born, she should be the happiest person, show much joy and if any man from either her family or the husband’s show or say they are disappointed, just ask them, who the minister of finance, petroleum, aviation, education, power, foreign affairs are presently and in the past. Ask them if they can stand or talk when those women talk? But one thing you mustn’t fail to do is don’t stop praying for your beautiful daughters for they are the blessings of your life.”
For 38year-old male civil servant, Dolapo Adebanjo, we can never satisfy the world no matter what we do: “It is a problem if you give birth to only boys, the same thing if you give birth to only girls. You give birth to three boys and one girl; we scramble to add one more girl likewise if it is we have two girls and just a boy, we would love to have one more boy. Then when it turns out to be a boy of girl again then it becomes a big problem with in-laws, friends and even family. They should be happy they were blessed with children in their union as millions of people are out there looking for the fruit of the womb with millions of naira but cannot get any.”
Marriage counsellor Hajiya Maryam Abdullahi says: “Any woman who has the blessings of the womb in her marriage should be thankful for God’s blessings and favours. Children are precious gifts from God, male or female. We have got no explanation to offer any mortal as to why God blesses your nuclear family with only female or male children. Members of your extended family have no business spoiling your joy. Your husband, his family and yours, should step into the 21st century. We have seen situations of women ending up dead in the name of looking for a boy. All these cultural ethics should not rule or affect your life and be grateful for what God has given you.”
Mary adds that: “It annoys me when some men or people think having a female child is a ‘sorry’ thing. Thousands of women are out there crying day and night for just one baby, irrespective of gender. God has blessed you with a bundle of joy that some people will give their right arm for, you are talking of family reaction when they hear ‘it’s another girl. ‘It’s not your fault you are carrying a baby girl. Don’t cause yourself unnecessary high blood pressure for what you cannot change. Pray for safe delivery and by the time everyone sees the baby; she will steal their hearts and gain their love. Relax, enjoy the pregnancy and look forward to you delivery date. On the side of the man, he should be her number one supporter and not a burden. They are in this together and should go through it that way.”