Why do people double date?

Sometimes both partners could be double dating at the same time even when they have proposed marriage to their partners or are engaged. Some people see this as cheating or playing games while others see it as something good. Whether double dating is right or not is completely subjective, but the truth is anyone who truly […]

Sometimes both partners could be double dating at the same time even when they have proposed marriage to their partners or are engaged. Some people see this as cheating or playing games while others see it as something good.
 Whether double dating is right or not is completely subjective, but the truth is anyone who truly loves someone will never double date  because if what a person has satisfies him, he or she wouldn’t need extra or an addition.
A respondent .M. Sagir, admits he double dates . He said he double dates because he enjoys it and it gives him the opportunity to test the variety of love for him from the two partners he has.
Another respondent, Juliet Thompson said: “I am absolutely not interested in double dating  but because my boyfriend recently deceived me, I couldn’t help double dating  too ”.
 Mapson G on his part said the more you date one person the more you will be deceived by people. He explained that there is hardly any trust in contemporary relationship and when one relies on single partner  she or he may disappoint you because he has other partners aside you, adding that double dating is therefore a solution and a case of not putting all eggs in one basket.
 When you know you are getting serious and your feelings are involved, take a step back to analyse the situation. Don’t make hasty decisions just to spare someone’s feelings. Look at the larger picture and ask yourself if you see a future with that person. If not, it’s better to let the people involved know about how you feel. It is better for everyone to move on.
Research conducted by society for personality and social psychology indicates that the major causes of double dating could be mistrust between partners, fear of deception, unsatisfied relationship and influence by others among others.
Mistrust between partners
Most a times lack of trust generate problems between two lovers due to some barriers or misunderstanding, for instance if you realise that your partner is having another partner, it would be difficult for you to trust that person and you might double date in revenge.
Fear of deception
Some double date for fear of being deceived by their partner. To them prevention is better than cure.
Unsatisfied relationship
People enter  a relationship for one benefit or the other, when they don’t derive these benefits in one relationship they begin to double date. In some cases partners might lose interest in one another but continue to play along in the relationship.
Influence by others
Your parents, friends or relatives can be a strong factor  in encouraging or discouraging your association with your partner. You may have your choice and they may discourage you and link you to someone else making you confuse .
Grohol, a psychologist opines that double date can revive passion in relationships; he says “people may do more to rekindle the romance of their relationship”. This is because if one realised that his/ her partner is having another, there is tendency of one to make double efforts in other to maintain the strength of the shaking relationship.
Relationship experts, Dr Kamal, said “whatever choices you make, whether to date exclusively or to double date, it is better you set boundaries and let the people involved know where they stand’’.
Don’t forget throwing two birds with one stone remains impossible.

Halilu  is a 400 Level student of  the Department of Mass Communication, Centre for Distance Learning, University of Maiduguri.