Why do women spend beyond their means?

A lady who got married a few months back invited a few friends to her house for dinner, they were enjoying dinner when a conversation started. One of the friends proudly said she doesn’t see herself driving a small car or living in a rented house. “I live an expensive life because from my looks, […]

A lady who got married a few months back invited a few friends to her house for dinner, they were enjoying dinner when a conversation started. One of the friends proudly said she doesn’t see herself driving a small car or living in a rented house. “I live an expensive life because from my looks, you would know that I don’t settle for less,” the lady uttered. Some women spend even when they clearly know they can’t afford something or that their income isn’t enough to afford the some luxuries. Most of these women go out of their way to impress their families and friends or in most cases, to create the impression that they belong to high class. Why do some women spend beyond their earnings? We spoke with people and their views are as interesting as they are diverse:
Sauda Bayero, a mother of three in her late 30s, believes that women who go out of their way and want the world to know they have arrived thinking they can afford the things people thought they couldn’t, do that due to immaturity and lack of self-esteem: “I know quite a number of people who live a life that doesn’t reflect the real them. I will give an example that amazes me all the time. A close friend of mine, in fact she is my childhood friend, we grew up in the same neighborhood and we have been friends till date. She got married to an average civil servant who happens to be earning enough that will sustain his family but not to live an extravagant life. The wife on the other hand manages a small business, which she does instead of staying idle. However, this particular woman doesn’t stick to her level of income; her aim is just to do things that will please people around her and also for people to regard her as a wealthy person. Thereby, earning respect in the eyes of the people she mingles with.”
Bayero added that: “It is unfortunate that the woman puts so much pressure on her husband to buy her every design of super wax (fabric) that comes out every month. I simply see this as madness; I have talked to her time without number and advised she should stop competing with her rich friends because they have the means to buy whatever they want. Her husband can afford to buy her clothes but obviously not super wax every month. I mean it is crazy, this fabric we are talking about is around N25,000 and her husband earns not more than N100,000 not forgetting the bills he has to take care of and other family responsibilities on him.”
She notes however that: “If one can afford it, he or she has every reason to buy and wear clothes that are even more expensive than that. I am calling on women that have adopted this senseless attitude to cut their coats according to their sizes and do what is doable for them. Even our religion teaches us that all fingers aren’t equal.” she opined.
Twenty-six-year-old Maryam Abdullahi, a journalist, says the trend of women doing or buying things beyond their earnings is ridiculous and uncalled for. She notes that life isn’t all about competition and therefore one should work with what one has: “Abuja women, most of these women are married to senators, ministers and politicians therefore they have money to throw away since it isn’t their hard earned money. I know a few women who move around with these rich women and of course they don’t belong in the same class. As a result, they have to struggle to live up to expectation and dress up when attending functions regardless of their income.”
She adds that: “My neighbour works under a prominent politician’s wife but trust me she doesn’t offer her anything instead she spends more than she gets. It got to a point where she collected loan from a bank and bought a car worth N3.5 million. If you ask me that is arrant nonsense, it is very unfortunate to see my fellow women do silly things all in the name of attention. They just want to be referred to as the rich and high class women when in reality things aren’t like that.”
Joseph Tarfa, a banker in his early 30s, notes that both men and women like to spend but that on the average the case of women is a bit worse: “I think the main reason why women buy things they can’t afford is because naturally women tend to have a lot of pressure both from society and self-imposed to look good always. Most women don’t consider financial implication before spending.
He adds that: “I honestly don’t have a problem with women who earn huge amounts of money spending it lavishly, but as for someone who is earning enough to take care of her basic needs and is doing just fine, excessive spending isn’t for her.”
Monica Yusuf, a student at Kaduna State University, opines that women like to be associated with class and normally, classy women are wealthy people who can afford all the luxuries one can ever think of: “These women portray an image of themselves as people who are up to standard and equal to the task but in reality they are struggling to attain such a position. I have a friend who goes out of her way just to impress her mother-in-law. She buys expensive gift items for her in-law from the little she saves just so that the mother-in-law would think she is a good person. Most women buy gifts that they can’t afford because it makes them feel generous and later face the consequences of being broke and in some cases they often end up borrowing money for their upkeep.”
All said, it is wise to limit your spending to your means to stay out of debt and unnecessary embarrassment.