With it, you can cook stones
While the English say “time works wonders,” Africans and many Nigerians (in their local languages) say, “with it, you can cook a stone.” They all say this whenever they hear the mention of the word patience. “A patient person will eat ripe fruits” is another African proverb on the same virtue. The two separate contexts […]
While the English say “time works wonders,” Africans and many Nigerians (in their local languages) say, “with it, you can cook a stone.” They all say this whenever they hear the mention of the word patience. “A patient person will eat ripe fruits” is another African proverb on the same virtue. The two separate contexts of cooking a stone and eating ripe fruits each requires an individual to wait over a period of time that is longer than normal. The significant message in these wise sayings is that, at the end of every long waiting is a feat worth celebrating.
If there is anything that is in short supply yet commonly lacking in most Nigerians today, it is patience. The ability of an individual to endure difficulties, manage inconveniences and or live with emerging challenges of modern life which solutions are not readily available defines patience. It is a manifestation of patience when a person confronted with an adverse situation remains full of hope. The Arabic word for patience is Sabr.
Life in the modern world is characterized by very many challenges that have since made living on the earth planet a ‘survival of the fittest.’ There is no time in human history that gives testimony to Charles Darwin’s social theory than now. So many things about life have changed and they keep on changing fast. There are more challenges to cope with nowadays than the time and resources available to tackle them.
An average Nigerian citizen, for instance, swims in a stormy sea of survival; lacking access to basic necessities of life. The challenges of gross indiscipline, poor parentage and loss of societal values occasioned directly or indirectly by the negative impact of modernity on traditional and religious societies have proportionately brought morality to its feet.
Although Nigeria is endowed with resources large enough to put smiles on the faces of even the unborn child; bad leadership has, over decades, continued to hamper the dream of two hundred million people for a better Nigeria. Our country today is a place where fundamental human rights have been converted into privileges. It would require a great deal of patience to live in the circumstances such as those currently experienced by Nigerians who suffer from abject poverty and unemployment; and whose wellbeing is increasingly threatened by disease and a fluctuating inflation rate.
A nation bedeviled with large-scale corruption, indiscipline, insecurity of lives and property, selective justice, vices being interchanged with virtues, incessant labour crises arising from unpaid wages, and mistreated education system is not a place where a man without patience can live in peace. It takes patience not only to understand or appreciate the weak among us but also to manage the insensitive and tackle the wicked.
If patience is allowed to disappear from our socio-political life; words like peace, equity, love and compassion would cease to be. And the relationship that would come to exist between husband and wife, between a king and his subjects, and between employer and his employees is just better imagined. It is with patience that the weak amongst us have continued to live with the strong and vice versa. The sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) asserts that strength does not lie in the ability to fight or subdue others but the strong is one who restrains himself when things are in turmoil.
Many verses in the Holy Qur’an teach us about the virtues in patience. Allah (SWT) exhorts in Qur’an 2:45 “Nay, seek (Allah’s) help with patient perseverance and prayer: it is indeed hard except to those who bring a lowly spirit”. Similarly, Allah in Qur’an 47:31 says, “And we shall try you until we test those among you who strive their utmost and persevere in patience…” Prophetic traditions teach us to always show gratitude to Allah (SWT) in matters of distress. No matter the extent of an affliction (physical or moral); we are obliged by Islam to be patient in managing our challenges and in our relationship with others.
Without patience, the teacher would be unsuccessful in the task of moulding the character of his pupils. The Imam, too, would fall short of shaping or reforming his followers if he lacks patience. Without patience, a lot of marriages would fail. In reality, achieving any set of goals would remain a dream unless accompanied with patience, perseverance and prayer. Allah (SWT) asserts in Qur’an 2:153 “O ye who believe! Seek help with patient perseverance and prayer for Allah is with those who patiently persevere.”
Today, husbands need to be patient to tolerate their ever-ungrateful wives just as wives require a lot of patience in order to cope with their forever assertive and chauvinistic husbands. Parents must exercise patience in bearing with the very unbecoming attitude of their children and wards even though morality must not be compromised in any form. Although Islam exhorts us to be patient with abnormal situations, it does not imply allowing evil to preside over good.
No amount of patience should be seen to be too much. Like charity, it is never in excess. The higher the spirit, the better the outcome. Impatience brings about anxiety and irrational pursuit of the luxuries of everyday life. If only a man will wait (patiently), all would come his way. The Swahili say, “To run is not necessarily to arrive.” Whoever allows impatience to over-ride him would be led in to deeds that are most regrettable. No one has ever regretted being patient but many have executed actions they wish were never taken.
A patiently persevering heart is a wealthy heart though without money. How poor then are those that have no patience! With patience, one is able to possess that which he lacks. A heart without patience is, therefore, the poorest of poor hearts. Patience consoles the mind over adversities. Apart from being a leadership quality, patience guides people to pursue all things with ease and comfort.
The one who is patient neither acts unwisely nor reacts unreasonably. Every act of patience will be rewarded by Allah (SWT) as stated in Holy Qur’an 39:10 “…Those who patiently persevere will truly receive a reward without measure.” May Allah (SWT) grant us enough patience to ‘cook the hardest of stones’ in order to manage unpleasant situations, Amin.