Women breadwinners: Are men becoming lazy?

She had met and married her husband, James Pam while she was living with her sister in Bauchi State and after four years of marriage, they relocated to Jos where they both hail from. James, she says since they got married had claimed to be in-between jobs while she shouldered the family’s financial responsibilities until […]

She had met and married her husband, James Pam while she was living with her sister in Bauchi State and after four years of marriage, they relocated to Jos where they both hail from. James, she says since they got married had claimed to be in-between jobs while she shouldered the family’s financial responsibilities until she got tired four years ago.
“After years of hardship and lies I just had to leave. What is the essence of marriage if you have to shoulder the entire financial burden? I will pay the house rent, pay school fees, and feed the family. The last stroke for me was four years ago when my sister helped get him a taxi driving job but he told us to our faces that he has no desire to work,” she narrated.    
Helen is not alone, there are many women, most of them uneducated, low income earners that are shouldering their family’s financial burdens mostly because their spouses are indolent. Though many working class women also shoulder such responsibilities, some of such career women do so usually because they earn higher than their spouses, therefore are expected to contribute more to the family purse.
This reversal in role and responsibility is not peculiar to Nigerian families. However in some countries, men whose spouses take up such financial burden will also reverse the tide by relieving the said spouse of other burdens such as child upbringing, cooking and other domestic responsibilities.
 In Nigeria, the woman breadwinner in many families still take on the traditional wage-earning role of the man, while retaining all of her other responsibilities as a wife and  mother.  
Mrs. Auta who sells fruits at Lamingo junction in Jos says Nigerian men have simply become lazy. The mother of five who is also a breadwinner told the Home Front, “My husband doesn’t do anything for a living other than hanging around at various ‘joints’ with his friends. I hawked plantain for two years before I saved enough money to start selling fruits by this junction. I pay my children’s school fees and I feed the family.”
She said: “With the rate, at which some men in this state are beginning to abandon their responsibilities, it has become necessary for human right organizations to start arresting and charging them to court. You will find a lot of them at the beer parlours when their families are struggling to find ways to fend for themselves. I have been fending for my family for over five years now and I am already used to it. I no longer rely on my husband for anything because I know that the little he gets ends up in the beer parlour.”
“It is double trouble for some women because there are men who feel that when women are empowered, they stop respecting them and so do whatever possible to scuttle their empowerment chances. Then there are also men who rely solely on their wives to do the struggling to feed the family and handle the family bills,” said Mr James Idoku, a Jos based banker.
He however took a swipe at some women whom he blamed for giving such ‘lazy men’ the opportunity to disincline labour  adding that “if the man refuses to fend for his family and you know that he is not ill or incapacitated, why would you continue to live with such a person? Even if you don’t want to leave him then you shouldn’t feed him, you shouldn’t cloth him because if you do that, you will only be encouraging him. Just focus on yourself and your children.”
Even the two major religions; Islam and Christianity prohibit the abdication of roles and responsibilities of men who are suppose to be heads of their families.
 A Jos based Islamic scholar and the Imam of a popular mosque in Anguwan Rogo, Malam Zubairu Isa explained that “Islamically, it is prohibited for a house wife to source for money outside her home in the name of feeding the family. This is because Allah has already placed the responsibilities and burden of the family on the husband.”
Malam Zubairu however said a woman could assume the role of bread winner if the husband is poor and she has the ability to engage in a lawful business to assist the family or if the husband is ill and there is nobody to assist the family.
According to him, “These conditions must be met with decency and fear of Allah. As a woman, you should do so while keeping your dignity and chastity, and once your work is finished, revert back to your home.”
Evangelist Innocent Akor who spoke to Home Front on the position of female breadwinners in the Christian faith said, “The Bible clearly states that a man who cannot provide for his household is worst than an infidel. A situation where by the man is always coming back home drunk, living in cohesion with his wife and allowing the woman go through the stress of catering for the family is totally wrong and unjustifiable.”
According to him, “Before a man goes into marriage, he knows perfectly well that he is the head of the home and it is the head that takes responsibility for the body. For that reason, he should know that his household needs are his responsibilities.”
He however said God can place a man in a certain position that could enable the wife be the breadwinner and therefore she can gladly do that, covering her husband’s ego.
The Evangelist advised that “even if it is to sell pure water, do it to cater for your family, nothing is too small as every rich man today started from somewhere so you must start from the bottom to get to the top. You should not give up, no matter what.”