Would the disabled run in 2015?

Sorry guys, it all happened in that part of the country where a thousand lives means nothing. In some countries, that is a recipe for the declaration of a solemn assembly; enough for political heads to wear sackcloth put ashes on their heads and weep by the roadside. If you live in one of those […]

Sorry guys, it all happened in that part of the country where a thousand lives means nothing. In some countries, that is a recipe for the declaration of a solemn assembly; enough for political heads to wear sackcloth put ashes on their heads and weep by the roadside. If you live in one of those countries, pardon our French, because here in Naija, conscience is as rare as modesty in the land of the nubile.
Don’t be shocked if you saw the presidential media charade. It is not that the journalists do not know what to ask; it is rather the fact that the answers are already known. Those in northern Naija are advised, to go back home and reorganize themselves and stop embarrassing the government. So, the reporters, knowing the question that would make their host happy went ahead and asked him anyway. That question is not how to solve the many problems that cripple a 53-year-old nation – problems such as security, electricity, jobs for the army of unemployed, amenities to ease movement of good and persons, doctors, nurses and medicines in hospitals or even the re-opening of schools. No. The number one question that solves all our malaise is whether the disabled president would run in 2015.
The way the president dismissed this insolence is very characteristic of an American returnee. No noble fisherman, he reminds all, jumps into hot water in search of fish. And as for ASUU and those in state-owned universities who plan to go on solidarity strike, Mr President’s response is taken straight from the mouth of another top politrician, Enyinaya Abaribe. It was said that when asked about ASUU strike, Abaribe, a sinator representing God’s Own State, Abia told his interviewers that his own children went to Babcock University (a private one) and have since graduated.
For those who may not know, private universities, most of which endorses corporal punishment, do not unionize. Our president has these words for state ASUU – I owe you nada! In other words, Mr. President would respect the fundamental human right of anyone, ASUU, NASU or NAMU to go on strike. He reminds them that their visitors (governors) saw on celluloid, the deplorable situation of federal schools and agreed that it should be remedied. The big question is when this president realized the eyesore and how many strikes it would take him and the sleeping cabinet to fix the rot. Journalists do not do follow-up questions, they are outside the script.
For the sake of ignorant journalists, the president only runs when there are opponents; there can only be opponents where there are vacancies. For now, none of the two indices is present, so, no need to heat up the polity with the 2015 charade. In fact, INEC the umpire is so good at these things they have told international observers; those guys who make it their own business to poke their noses into other people’s business, that there would be no security for meddlesome interlopers. If they think that they have attended enough survivor training sessions to navigate Boko Haram territory without scratch, they should feel buy rebate tickets on time and make it down – on their own.
It would also appear that boko is not the only threat to lives on this plane. Asari Dokubo, the generalissimo of the Ijaw nation recently declared that there are half a million armed brigands ready to pull off the five fingers of any hand that fails to thumbprint on President Jones’ face come 2015. Knowing his track records with oil merchants, it would be advisable that any election observers weigh in their options on growing alternate lives before heading this way come 2015.
The president who returned with an Obama handshake did not disappoint most of his critics. He took on the questions like a student writing an exam whose topic he has neither been taught nor has a clue. He parried the scripted questions the way any drunk footballer would have scored an own goal if put on a pitch. Having shaken the hands of the man who is the world’s numero uno terrorism police, I don’t see how the carnage in Yobe or anywhere else could have embarrassed the president.
You need to have what it takes to embarrass anyone to embarrass this president and from the dressing to the way he attacked the questions, at least, I am not embarrassed. The question remains unanswered – would this disabled president run in 2015 or would he – forbear?