Would you confess or keep a secret of infidelity from your spouse?

Secrets, they say, are dangerous. But some people would rather take their secrets to the grave than confess. LifeXtra asks some people if they would rather confess or keep an infidelity secret.   In a relationship like marriage, keeping secrets can destroy such a union. Looking at it from another angle, secrets can also save […]

Secrets, they say, are dangerous. But some people would rather take their secrets to the grave than confess. LifeXtra asks some people if they would rather confess or keep an infidelity secret.

 

In a relationship like marriage, keeping secrets can destroy such a union. Looking at it from another angle, secrets can also save some marriages; however, not everyone can handle the truth. So, some people think it is better to keep mute about the matter of infidelity.

As a spouse, would you tell your better half the truth if you cheat on them? Let us see what Nigerians think about this matter.

Tope Walter, a 32-year-old entrepreneur, told LifeXtra that she would rather keep secrets of infidelity to herself than tell her husband. She said, “I cannot tell my husband if I mistakenly cheat on him. He is a very jealous person. He will never forgive me. These men of ours cannot take half of the things that they do to us. I would have loved to tell him but it is a shameful thing. So, no, I will not say anything to him.”

Forty six-year-old Akande Adejumoke, a lecturer, told LifeXtra there would be no need to tell his wife about his infidelity. “Why would I tell her about my infidelity? That is totally disrespectful. Even if she asks me, I will not tell her. I will not tell her because I love her. And the other women are just a way of having fun. It would be foolish and wicked of me to rub my infidelity in her face. That is something she doesn’t have to know. So, that secret stays with me,” he said.

Abigail Osondu, 28-year-old businesswoman, said “Well, this is a very delicate matter, to be honest. My marriage is still very young and I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that. But I don’t think I would keep such a secret from my husband. It would eat me alive. So, the best thing is to totally avoid things that would put you in such a situation. If I was raped, I would surely tell him since it wasn’t my fault. But cheating? That is a different ball game entirely. But if I did cheat, I think I will tell him.”

Usman Quadri, 36-year-old banker, told LifeXtra that he would tell his wife if he cheated on her. “If there is a woman outside that I like and I’m seeing, I will tell my wife about her. My religion permits me to marry many wives but it doesn’t permit me to have extra marital affairs. My wife understands this. So, there is nothing called cheating. If I am dating someone outside my marriage, then it may most likely lead to marriage. I don’t think that counts as cheating because I have to get to know this other woman very well before deciding to marry her. So yes, I would tell my wife if she asks me. But if she doesn’t, then she will know there is someone else when I decide to marry another wife,” he said