Would you consider your partner’s job before marriage?
People get married for different reasons, one of which could be the job of the partner, while some are looking for companions others are after someone who can take care of them materially.On occasions when a woman takes a man home, one of the several questions the parents ask the man is, ‘what do you […]
People get married for different reasons, one of which could be the job of the partner, while some are looking for companions others are after someone who can take care of them materially.
On occasions when a woman takes a man home, one of the several questions the parents ask the man is, ‘what do you do for a living?’ This some argue, is important. Life Extra sampled the opinions of a number of people to find out what their take is on the rather controversial issue.
Wilson Chukwudi, a 32-year-old shop owner opines that a man’s job defines his identity. Re-accounting his experience when he wanted to get married, Chukwudi said: “When I went to my wife’s village in Anambra State to ask for her hand in marriage, I remember after he (wife’s father) asked me to introduce myself and make my intentions known, the next question he asked me was what I did for a living. He told me he was concerned about what I was doing not only to check my financial capability but also to ensure that my job was legal. It was after marriage that my wife told me that a background check was done on me by my in-laws just to be sure that I told him the truth.”
Twenty-five-year-old Priscillia Ogwu, thinks that: “A man’s job is a major consideration before marriage, I can’t marry a man whose job is illegal or who I would be ashamed of because of his kind of job. But sincerely, I can marry a man who has something doing but can afford three square meals, a man who doesn’t necessarily have to be wealthy.” Ogwu explained that: “Some girls in the quest of wanting to marry a very rich man end up getting married to a man whose source of wealth is illegal. I don’t blame though, some of them because the pressure from their peers or parents to meet up with status-quo makes them fall victim to men with illegal jobs.”
Meriam Mohammed, a 27-year-old self-employed lady, believes strongly that a man’s job shouldn’t be a matter for marriage. She says: “What every girl should consider before marriage is the potential of the man, is the man strong or lazy, does he have the zeal for excellence, how well does he respond to opportunities, is he very efficient and dedicated to work? These should be the thoughts of a girl who wants to get married, you shouldn’t think of how rich he is now or what job he does because a rich man before marriage can become poor after marriage, a man with a good job today can become jobless tomorrow and vice versa.”
John Ufuoma, 23, believes that every man should consider what he is doing for a job and his state of finance before thinking of marriage: “I personally, before I get married, I would make sure I am capable of feeding myself and four extra mouths without stressing to do it. I won’t want to bring another man’s daughter into my house to suffer because I won’t want that for my sisters or future children, so I have made it a point of duty for myself that before I get married, I should have a stable job and income that can cater for my needs and those of my family.”
Twenty-five-year-old youth corper Judith Okoye, says: “I know of girls who would say over my dead body would I marry a poor man! Poverty is a taboo to me, etc. Overtime, I have come to realise that some of these girls develop this mindset because of where they come from, their homes, experience with life and sheer greed. The zeal to be ambitious in life is not bad as long as it is channeled in the right direction. A man’s job is indeed important in marriage, I personally won’t get married to a bike man or mechanic with no potentials, but there have been cases of people who started off as mechanics who have today grown and expanded beyond recognition. The rich men who are recognised today didn’t fall from heaven rich, they all started from somewhere. So, the ability, strength, zeal and potential to make good of what you are doing is what matters and not necessarily you as the man working in an oil company.”
Okoye adds that: “Imagine the man who works in an oil company loses his job, what next, does he have the potential of rising again if there is no other oil job, so I advise that every girl looks beyond the present, don’t base your decision to get married on the job the man is doing because it could change. The only constant thing in life is change.”
Uche Okoro, a marriage counselor, says: “A man’s job and finance is a major aspect to consider before marriage, but this doesn’t mean only the men who are extremely wealthy are the ones to be considered for marriage or the one’s whose jobs fetch them millions in a month. What it means is that, the man should be able to cater for the immediate needs of his family, such as feeding, clothing and health. If a man can meet up with these then he is good to go.
“When a man’s job should be considered from my own point of view is when the man’s job is illegal, when it is against the law of the land. You find girls who are blindfolded by the wealth of a man that they fail to consider the source of the wealth. A girl should know what a man does for a living; where he is working, and if what he does is right in accordance to the law.”