Would you give your password to your spouse?

Trust is an important factor in any successful relationship, but many people struggle with how much information they should share with or divulge to their partners.  This leaves a nagging question: “Would you give your password/pin to your spouse”? LifeXtra finds out.   In the course of discussion with a friend during the week, she […]

Trust is an important factor in any successful relationship, but many people struggle with how much information they should share with or divulge to their partners.  This leaves a nagging question: “Would you give your password/pin to your spouse”? LifeXtra finds out.

 

In the course of discussion with a friend during the week, she said when she gets married, she would change the password to her phone and even change her ATM card pin. When I sought to know why, she said, “My phone is my property and my ATM card belong to me. They have my name on them.”

When I asked if she would tell her husband her pin if he demands for it, she retorted, “What does he need my card for in the first place? My simple response? Because you both are “one”. That didn’t make her change her stance on what she would do.

My friend isn’t the only one who belongs to that school of thought. However, when Lifextra went to town to know what people felt about the matter, it was discovered that not everyone reasoned like my friend.

Patience Steven, in her mid twenties, said, “Yes, I will if trust is there, though it is not all partners that trust each other.” 

“So what if you know your husband’s password and he doesn’t know yours. Is that okay? And what if there are sensitive documents and mails that require individual confidentiality? Wouldn’t it be necessary to password it?”LifeXtra asked.

She said, “Like I said earlier if trust is involved, it’s cool to know each other’s password. I can’t know his password without him knowing mine. It would seem as if I am hiding something from him. Most of these people that have passwords on their phones have something to hide from their partners.”

“What is wrong with telling your spouse your password? Concerning individual confidentiality, I don’t think one should hide anything from their spouse because both of you are one; except if the trust is not there.”

Also speaking to LifeXtra, Ephraim Akarah, a civil servant in his early thirties, said “Whether it’s a spouse or not, there shouldn’t be password, in case of emergencies. You can passwords certain apps or important documents in the phone, but not the phone. On a second thought, if she already has the password to your heart then what’s the use of a password on your phone? For me, my wife knows my phone password, bank pins, emails and the rest for personal safety.”

“For a long lasting marriage, both should know each other’s passwords,” he advised.

Concurring with Akarah, Abigail Ita, a lab scientist, said, “Yes, because when there is an emergency you need someone to call on your behalf or perhaps withdraw cash using your ATM. It also shows that we have nothing to hide from each other.” She added, “My husband knows mine and I know his. It works for me.”

On the contrary, Chey Castle, a young graduate, responded with an emphatic NO! she said, “We are married. I had a life prior to the marriage but we both know that whatever the woman has prior to the marriage is hers and whatever the man had prior or during the marriage is for both of them.”

The article “How Much Do Partners Need to Share?” by Dr Peggy Drexler stated: “Handing over your phone to your partner to look through your photos, text messages, and call history may show him or her that you have nothing to hide, that there are no secrets between you. The takeaway isn’t that joint smartphone access signifies a healthy, monogamous relationship. Nor is it that any partner without something to hide should be willing to hand over his or her phone. There is a place for privacy in loving, trusting relationships, and it’s important to remember that a person’s request for privacy doesn’t mean he’s up to no good.”