Young ladies shed tears, but some parents smile at early marriages

“I was too young to be able to handle my husband at that time. I could not compete with his first wife as she is older than I was,” she explained, adding that “if I were to help in moulding my daughter’s destiny, I will not allow her to marry as early as I did.” […]

“I was too young to be able to handle my husband at that time. I could not compete with his first wife as she is older than I was,” she explained, adding that “if I were to help in moulding my daughter’s destiny, I will not allow her to marry as early as I did.” As she opened up on her predicament, streams of tears fell from her eyes. She used the sleeves of her wear to clear the tears.

Early marriage has kept thousands of young ladies out of schools in northern Nigeria. But it is as old as the north and is practised largely in rural areas, although there are few cases in big cities.

The areas worst affected are communities in Kano, Katsina, Zamfara  and Sokoto States to the West and Borno, Yobe from the eastern, according to a report by the United Nations Children Fund (UNICEF). Most of the ladies are married off at such an early age when they could not make a choice of their own. The double negative implication is that they were also unable to complete their educational programmes, primary, secondary or tertiary.

According to UNICEF, “Only 26 percent of the girls in Northern Nigeria make it beyond primary schools.”  The rest are either hawking in cities or married off at an early age.

Another statistics from UNICEF and UNESCO says more than four million ladies, between the ages of six and 11, are out of school in Nigeria. This shows how the number of girls on road sides selling ‘pure’ water, kolanut, among others is growing.

This child abuse that many national and international human rights groups have been fighting is also visible in the southern part of the country, although through different facets. In the South, young girls of ages between nine or 10 are the ones seen hawking at night at various petrol stations where travellers who stop over to refuel or take some rest.

WHY EARLY MARRIAGE

Aishatu Sulaiman, a former field officer of the United Kingdom ‘Save the Children,’ says early marriage is a trend that is seen as an offshoot of religion and culture. “You find most of these cases in rural areas, but that does not mean that you cannot find them in cities.”

The Nigerian Agency for the Prohibition of Traffic in Persons and related matters (NAPTIP) has it that early marriage, no doubt, has to do with culture. “We know that there are parents who believe once their daughter attain puberty, she should be married. They do it on the basis of their culture with clear intention that the husband is going to take good care of their daughter,” said Ahmad Muhammad Bello, the zonal coordinator of NAPTIP in Kano. “Another reason is that we have parents who are very selfish; they give out their daughters in marriage for the material benefit they may derive from the marriage. They assess you and when they feel you are economically buoyant or that you are holding a political office they will be in a hurry to give out their daughter to you.”

Abdullahi Yusuf, a parent in Kano, said the trend has become inevitable in order to shield young girls from sexual and societal ills. “The objective of marrying off girls at the early age of 12, 13 or 14, is to protect them from certain ills of the society. It is done in order not to expose them to defilement by men who want to have illicit affairs with them. That’s how Islam wants it, anyway.”

It is believed that the longer a young girl stays unmarried, the higher chances of becoming sexually active. She would be seduced or forced into sex with older men. Parents are, no doubt, afraid for their daughters getting pregnant out of wedlock, which is a grave shame in rural areas and even in the cities. Some parents resort to marrying off their daughters early rather than allow them to disgrace the family name, which would become a stigma for generations. However, not all mature girls are lured into sex.

Sulaiman Muhammad, 52, told Sunday Trust that he is proud to have married off his daughters early in Sule-Tankarkar village of Jigawa State.

“My three daughters were married off early, I am proud of my culture and we are doing that to protect our daughters from being defiled by bad people. In our village the most shameful thing is for the female members of your family to become pregnant out of wedlock,” Muhammad said.

He continued, “a virgin would earn the respect of her husband because he would be the first person to ‘know.’  I think every person would want to marry out his daughter as a virgin.”

When asked whether he is bothered about the possible health risks to the girl married off at an early age, especially while in delivery, Muhammad said, even if a girl is married at 30 years of age, she stands a risk while in delivery. It is a matter of prayers for God to protect the expectant mother.”

But Aliyu Mashi of GIOPINI, disagrees with this thinking. He said, “One of the most visible implications of early marriage is the complete denial of child’s fundamental human rights, in terms of education, health, and of even interactions with their contemporaries who are yet to get married. The dire consequences are not only to Nigeria but to the society and world at large. If you allow them to further their education only God knows how productive they may be in future. Some could be gynaecologists, a profession that could even help religion and society,” Mashi reiterates his position.

Advocacy groups are not deterred, however, by the difficult position of many parents.  Aliyu Mashi said: “With awareness now, our religious leaders are being enlightened. We carry out advocacy visits to local councils, traditional and religious leaders and community leaders as well.  As a result, some parents have resisted the temptation of giving their daughters out at an early age for marriage. Although this has not put a total stop to the trend, compared to some 15 years back the issue is now minimized.”