Mabudan Soyayyar Maigida 6

Assalamu alaykum, barkanmu da sake haduwa cikin wannan fili.  Insha Allahu za mu cigaba da bayani akan darasin farko na makarantar mowar mata daga inda muka tsaya makon jiya. Da fatan Allah Ya amfanar da mu, amin. “Nuna rashin amincewa da wasu halaye ko dabi’un miji yana dakile soyayyarsa, don zai rika jin kina nuna […]

Assalamu alaykum, barkanmu da sake haduwa cikin wannan fili.  Insha Allahu za mu cigaba da bayani akan darasin farko na makarantar mowar mata daga inda muka tsaya makon jiya. Da fatan Allah Ya amfanar da mu, amin.

“Nuna rashin amincewa da wasu halaye ko dabi’un miji yana dakile soyayyarsa, don zai rika jin kina nuna masa bai yi maki yadda kike so ba, bai isa ba, kuma bai cika ba a matsayinsa na namiji.
“Bari in yi maku misali don ku fahimta sosai. Binta, akwai wasu dabi’u da maigidanki yake wadanda suke ba ki haushi kuma wadanda kike yawan yi masa mitarsu?” “kwarai kuwa Malama, akwai, da yawa ma.”   “To ba mu misalin daya daga cikinsu.” “Kin ga dai akwai yadda kullum bai dawowa gida da wuri, kullum sai sha biyu ta kusa yi, wani daren ma sai sha biyu ta wuce.”
“Ya kike mashi in ya dawo a wannan lokacin da ba ki so?” “Ina jin haushi ya cika min zuciyata, saboda yanke mani barcin da shigowarshi ke yi, amma ba ni ce masa komi, wata sa’in na kan yi tsaki tare da mitar yanke mani barcin da ya yi, kuma ko ya yi mani magana ba na amsawa, ko na amsa a fusace nake amsawa.”
“To ke kuma akwai wata dabi’a daga cikin dabi’unki da mijinki bai so?” “Ba a rasa ba Malama, kin san an ce zo mu zauna zo mu saba ko? “Haka ne, to ba mu misalin daya daga ciki?” “Gaskiya bai son yawan zuwa taron suna da biki, ni kuma ina matukar son haka gaskiya.”
“To ya yake yi dake game da yawan zuwa suna da biki?” “To ya kuwa zai yi Malama, ai ya zama dole, na san yadda zan yi in ta lallashin shi, in lallabashi har sai ya barni naje. In kuma ya ki barin sai in yi ta fushi da kumbure-kumbure har sai ya bar ni. In na so zuwa wani biki ko bai bar ni ba sai na je, sai dai in na dawo mu yi fada, ma shirya daga baya.”
Malama Bushrah ta cika da mamaki baki a bude, sannan ta yi gyaran murya, ta cigaba da bayani: “Akwai hadari babba a cikin haka, amma za mu zo kan darasin da zai koyar da mu yadda za mu gyara wannan Insha Allah.
‘Yan’uwa abinda nake son mu fahimta shi ne, ita rayuwar auratayya, kamar yadda Binta ta fada, rayuwa ce ta zo mu zauna, zo mu saba ce, rayuwace mai cike da sabe-sabe da yawa. Duk wata dabi’a ta mijinki da baki so, take ba ki haushi ko take ba ki kyama, ke ma akwai wata dabi’a ko dabi’u naki da baya so. Mowar mata itace matar da ba ta jin haushi da mitar nakasun dake tare da mijinta ta bangaren halayya da dabi’unsa, ta amince da shi gaba dayansa, kyawunsa da rashin kyawunsa.
Yanzu misali, mowar mace in mijinta yana hirar dare, kuma ya kasance ba ta jin dadin wannan dabi’a, wannan ba zai sa ta canza yanayin mu’amularta da shi ba, in mijinta ya dawo a wannan lokaci da ba ta so, bayan dare ya nisa, za ta tarye shi cikin fara’a da jin dadin ganinsa, za ta nuna masa kauna da soyayya da kulawa kamar yadda ta saba nuna masa, kamar yadda za ta nuna masa a wani lokaci ba wannan ba, kamar yadda za ta nuna masa in ya dawo a irin lokacin da ta fi so ya dawo.
Misali: Mowar mace za ta ci kwalliya mai kayatarwa, tana kamshi, ta yi zaman jiran mijinta har ya dawo, sannan bayan ya dawo ta tarbesa da murmushi mai kyau da kyawawan kalamai. In kuma barci ya kwasheta, shigowarsa ta tayar da ita, haka za ta tarbe shi cikin magana mai kyau ba cikin fusata da mitar an yanke mata barcinta ba. Domin mu sani mijin muke aure gaba dayansa ba kyawawan dabi’unsa kadai ba. Duk mai son bude soyayyar mijinta gaba dayanta, sai ta juya baya ga gaba daya ajizancin dake tare da mijinta,watau ta daina la’akari da dabi’un mijinta wajen nuna so da kulawa gare shi, ta daina bari ajizancin mijinta suna yin tasiri ga yadda take mu’amulantar mijinta.
Wata daga can baya ta daga hannu alamar tana son yin tambaya. “Bismillah Zainab…”  “Malama to in abinda mijin mutum yake yi babban zunubi ne fa? Kamar caca, shan giya ko neman mata, shi ma wannan ajizancin da dole ne mace ta amince da shi wajen mu’amularta da mijinta?”

Sai sati na gaba Insha Allah, za mu ji amsar da Malama Bushirah ta bayar.  Da fatan Allah Ya sa mu kasance cikin kulawarSa a kodayaushe, amin.