Resisting Abba Kyari’s ghost

Abba Kyari, remember him? The so-called de-facto president who allegedly decides who gets hired, retained, promoted and/or fired? He was the archetypal protagonist of the poem, Mr. Nobody by Anonymous. Malam Kyari was Muhammadu Buhari’s Chief of Staff. When he died nearly a year ago, his enemies rejoiced. They swore that his demise has removed […]

Abba Kyari, remember him? The so-called de-facto president who allegedly decides who gets hired, retained, promoted and/or fired? He was the archetypal protagonist of the poem, Mr. Nobody by Anonymous.

Malam Kyari was Muhammadu Buhari’s Chief of Staff. When he died nearly a year ago, his enemies rejoiced. They swore that his demise has removed the blindfold over Buhari’s face, unblocked his ears from the cries of the oppressed, and voided the otumukpo preventing him from reflecting the ideals for which he was initially elected.

• Banditry, kidnapping: North West govs working at cross purposes – El-Rufai
• Kaduna, Niger collaborating to end banditry – El-Rufai

Apparently, the bind between the departed appointee and his living boss are sealed. Not surprising we serially appoint the dead to represent the living.

When Buhari appointed Tukur Buratai as army chief, he vowed doing so based on a sterling resume. Back then, Buratai looked like the comet to brighten the dim firmament of our security apparatchik. He looked bold, athletic and daring. He reared snakes for a hobby; and looked sculpted to terminate insurgencies.

He toured the trenches for the coming depicting the image of a brave commander. When the news of his Dubai properties broke, his boss reminded us that his wives were as successful in business as Folorunso Alakija, Bola Shagaya or Daisy Danjuma. They were presented as loaded tycoons with property in Dubai. Who were we to disagree!

We kept faith in Buratai and his colleagues. Then Chibok happened (again), Buratai presented Shekau’s flag to Buhari instead of his severed head. It was rumoured that Buratai the defence chief’s traditional homestead, was being overrun by insurgents and that the chief had evacuated his family members ahead of the assault. Buratai spoke less. A nation in search of heroes did not need a bombastic chief’s voice to feel his impact on the battlefield. From the killings in Benue, the pogrom in Zamfara to the burning and looting in Southern Kaduna, and carnage everywhere else, Buratai and his partners were failures. Even the Senate said so! Soon, the cry for Buratai’s removal was as high as the tears of the orphaned victims of his lacklustre leadership; as deafening as the screams of young women widowed as a result of their young husbands wasted in the field of battle to defence chicanery.

In the life of Abba Kyari, a good reason to keep a non-performing appointee was mass hysteria over their indolence, incompetence or corruption. Nobody blamed Buhari, they pointed at Kyari. The ubiquitous chief of staff is dead and buried, yet nothing has changed.

The few conscientious generals who exposed the subterfuge that fuels the insurrection were demoted, sanctioned or sacked. It would have been chivalrous for Buratai and his cohorts to retire, but instead, Buhari bent the rules to keep them beyond their statutory retirement age even after ‘winning’ re-election amidst worsening insecurity.

Soon, governors got the memo and opened channels of negotiation with the terrorists operating in their domain. Hapless citizens became sitting ducks overrun by bandits; survivors embraced homelessness and life in internally displaced camps. Life for these Nigerians became short, brutish and uncertain. Buhari sauntered in elegant babbar riga, his indolent service chiefs sashayed in their starched khaki, cruising around town in chauffeured limousines and wailing siren, protected by loyal subordinates. Blame Abba Kyari’s ghost, it still manipulates Buhari, manages to separate Nigeria from the promised Change and remove the ladder of ascent to our Next Level.

Three weeks ago, General Buhari announced that all his service chiefs had turned in their resignation. It was the kind of redemption news only heard from so-called saner climes where showy appointees quit whenever someone in the hierarchy dropped the ball under their watch. Some asked – why wait until the shoulder boards drip with the blood of the innocent? Others simply said – better late than never, and – good riddance to preventable rubbish. Minutes later replacements were sworn in not in the usual six months! Finally, Nigerians could raise a glass of zobo to some level of dynamism.

The wicked, incurable pessimists and non-constructive critics heckled that the Senate must screen new appointees although the Senate was not complaining. It hardly whinges unless its fat budget was being slashed or its unearned privileges threatened. They were simply crying more than the bereaved knowing full well that what Buhari has sanctioned was final? If anyone felt insulted, they could jump into the lagoon, drop from Aso or Zuma rock or file a case in Fatou Bensouda’s court!

If only we knew that the thunder that would fire our collective intelligence and national integrity was only loading! Last week, Buhari packaged the bloody resume of his extinguished service chiefs, sent it to the rubberstamp Senate for approval as ambassador designates. It was executive perfidy delivered with the aromatic bottle of sadism; a real demonstration of craze, and it was no April fool’s joke. It was Rehoboam’s theory in which past rogue regimes scandalised the nation with insensitivity, and this one serially assaults us with crash insouciance.

This regime daily undermines national entente, distances its hapless citizens from their aphrodisiac of joy and separates them from the hallo of redemption. It was not enough to reward dissenting judges with ambassadorial positions; it now enthrones the worst among us to be the leading light of the best of us at home and abroad. As foreign nations reward excellent Nigerians with appointments, Buhari exports the worst athletes to fly our country’s flag abroad.

Is it that there are no qualified career ambassador materials at the foreign ministry that these failures deserve a garland of redemption abroad? Does a man in his right mind betroth his only daughter to the brigand who raped his own mother? If Nigeria were General Buhari’s estate, would he appoint these national rejects as managers of that estate based on their track records of serial failures? Is foreign posting now restoration school for those who fail national assignments? Should those who plunge our nation into unprecedented national security be shielded from the seeds they have sown while the innocent bear the brunt?

True, soldiers have represented us at global levels in the past, and there are perhaps some still qualified to do so even today, but the jury must rule in their favour. An ambassador must be a person of integrity, proven track record and a resume that shines at home as it should abroad. Our embassies must not be exiles for people attempting to save face or diplomatic immunity from war crimes. Our Foreign missions should never be home to the worst among us.

A real Senate should not even consider screening these guys, but this one is a predictable rubberstamp. It is yet to deem the antics of killer herdsmen worthy of a debate on its floor. It withdrew summons from the commander in chief to give accounts of his stewardship in national security. It is obvious it would eat its own resolution and confirm these unworthy envoys without a hearing knowing that it is ranked by serial failures and impositions.

In the end, it is the patriotic duty of Nigerians outside to stop Abba Kyari’s ghost from haunting its missions.