Valentine blues: My love life with Major General David Jemibewon – Wife

I met David at an older friend’s house in Ibadan in the early 70s. He was a gentle braggart. He is his mother’s son. That is, he took after his mother a lot.

Only few people call him with his first name David! And, the few are either his co-retired Generals or his siblings. David Jemibewon, a former Military Administrator and Minister of Police Affairs, is very conservative. But his wife Dupe Jemibewon calls him David too, and when she does, “it makes my husband relax and romantic,” says the top society lady and businesswoman, Dupe Jemibewon. This tells much about the loving relationship between the couple. In this interview with Tambari, the couple share their love life experiences.

How did you spend 2021 Valentine Day?

It was a Sunday. I went to church, returned home, to settle on a couch with David and we had a fulfilled, splendid day.

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How did you meet the General, your husband?

I met David at an older friend’s house in Ibadan in the early 70s. He was a gentle braggart. He is his mother’s son. That is, he took after his mother a lot.

Was it love at first sight?

No, it wasn’t love at first sight; rather it has been love that has developed over time.

What do you love about him and what keeps you going as a couple?

I love his extreme sense of understanding and forbearance. We have this ability to confide in each other no matter the issue. And, I think that is what keeps us going.

In the past years, have you been together on holiday?

We have more or less travelled all over the world.

Our best Valentine Day celebration. Every Valentine’s Day is different now. We enjoy doing things together and relishing the wonder of love in all situations that we find ourselves.

Would you say that the General is romantic?

No, he is not very romantic like 100%, but he is very compassionate in his ways. And that is alright with me.

Can you recall some of the best moments you have had in your marriage?

Oh, we have had several, very many pleasant and happy moments. His 50th, 60th,70th, and 80th birthday celebrations in particular, and of course, the day my daughter got married to her heartthrob in England.

Your advice to young couples

I will like to tell them that, no marriage is perfect, but a sustaining union is what one hopes for. We thank God we have one by His Grace.  Young couples should put God into the equation. Be resilient, have forbearance and forgiveness. These are the keys to sustainable unions.

You worked with Nigeria Airways, the defunct Nigerian airline and then you had a beauty parlour in the heart of Ikeja, Lagos, where celebrities harness their beauty and style status. Why did you relocate to Kogi?

Where my husband is, I am there. I moved to join him at our serene country home in Kogi state. There is life here too. Where your love is, that is where life is, though, I still shuttle around Lagos and Abuja where I have businesses and friends.

Back at the country home, how do you keep yourself busy?

I run a school here. We built a standard school and waited for the students to come. And the emphasis is actually on ICT and multidimensional education in a very serene environment. I am very proud of what we had done. That way, we cannot continue to complain that the standard of education has fallen and we are not doing anything about it.

What was the motivation behind investing in education?

Like I told you, I am a product of two teachers and I know that as a child in this country, I had a rounded education, be it in the province or at the capital, it was a rounded education that my generation in Western Nigeria had. Basically, it was even free education. In my days, we didn’t need to go to a private school. That was because; everything was done and structured properly. In the last two years that I have been interviewing people to teach in the school, I have felt very despondent and feel sorry for this country in the sense that I interviewed 50 graduates and could hardly find five that I could acknowledge to work with me in the school and help to impact the next generation. That to me is an abysmal level. But, we can’t just keep complaining, we must be proactive! That is one of the reasons for this kind of school.

Why locate such a high investment school in the countryside and not Abuja?

We chose to locate it where my husband originates from. That is where it is located. We all cannot be in Abuja, Lagos or all the other popular cities in the country. The mistake people make in this country is, thinking that Abuja and Lagos are all there is to this country. Those places are not the real Nigeria! It is because I have travelled extensively, and I have been exposed to various cultures, that I know that Nigeria does not end in Abuja and neither does it end in Lagos! This is a vast expanse of land, geometrically, geographically, demographically, God has put us together, and we are many, we can’t all be city dwellers. If we put all the schools and all the infrastructures in the cities, what happens to the countryside? The countryside of this country is still in this country! The countryside is also an important aspect of this country.

What do you enjoy most about the countryside?

I enjoy the serenity, pristine nature, I live within palm trees. People come and when they see where we live they ask questions. “You mean you live here?” They are always shocked because the city dwellers don’t know this country. They do not know the enjoyment. If only people could see the way people are living in the countryside, they will eat their heart out! If you do not move around this country, you won’t know what is available. Some of my friends say that I live in ‘Camp David’ and I reply, ‘yes, I do.’

What can you say about the loss of celebration these days with the COVID-19 still out there?

I think we can’t or shouldn’t return to the old order of big parties and big celebrations because of the coronavirus thing still spreading around the world. But then we can still celebrate with dignity and less noise. I must confess that, I don’t think it is time for Owambe parties yet. To continue with that, will increase the rate of the spread of the virus across the nation.

Social distancing will be almost impossible at a social event. So, parties generally either Owambe not must wait till the figures of the coronavirus spread come down drastically.

 

Tambari also interviewed the husband and his face brightened as he told us things from his heart. Here’s what he said about his wife and marriage:

At over 80, you are still looking fit, how do you do it?

I don’t eat much, and that keeps me fit. I have great sympathy for my wife because she brings in one cook today and maybe in another month, we have to look for another. So I don’t eat much rather, I eat quality food, not quantity. Unfortunately, I don’t do exercise anymore. To start with, in the past, I used to be involved in exercise, playing squash. But I later had an accident and since then I have not been playing squash. So what I have been doing in recent times is to control the amount of food I eat. And I eat quality food.

In fairness, my wife is kind and makes sure that I eat the right thing. I know she is particular about getting the right kind of cook for me. You find out that some people say they have cooked in restaurants but in the end, it is a lie.

How did you meet your wife, Chief Mrs Dupe Jemibewon?

I met her while I was a military governor. Back then, I had a lady friend but not the boyfriend or girlfriend kind of thing. One day, she came to say hello to me. Her sister was a classmate with Dupe, my second wife, and they are still friends today. Through her, I met many ladies, but I particularly liked Dupe out of those many girls. I went to her house where I met them and I took interest in Dupe. That was how we started.

At what point did you make the decision that she had to be your wife?

Initially, the intention was not to get married because I knew I was already married. But just after that meeting, I was on a programme on a radio station and during the programme, I heard a voice and I knew it was her voice. That voice, I don’t know how it happened. From hearing that voice, I started having a special likeness for her.

What can you say about her today?

Having lived together for about three decades plus and still counting, I can say that it has not been easy for both of us because she also happens to be the first child of her parents. They are Catholics and like any parents, they would have wished she didn’t have to marry someone who was already married. But then it is not everything you wish that happens in life. That is the way I will explain it.

Since we started, God has helped us and we have had a cordial relationship. We have just one daughter. We thank God because we have been able to groom her well. She went to a Catholic university and made a First Class. What does anybody want again? And, she is now happily married.

You are also known for your love of music

Oh yes, I enjoy music a lot, and the truth is that I do not have any preference at all. Maybe when I get intelligent people to talk to, I like having conversations. I used to write, but I am lazy now. But I have good friends and I thank God for that.

Why did you and your wife choose to run a big, quality school in your village in Kogi state?

At that time, I told myself that to help people, known and unknown, born and yet to be born, it would be better for me to go into education. I am not a doctor, so even if I were to build a hospital, I will have to employ doctors and no doctor will be willing to come into this bush in a rural area. But I know that if people know me in this country and if they respect me, knowing that I come from this bush, and this place now is not even as bushy as it was when I went to school, so why don’t I just start a school here. So, that is why I started a school with my wife.

What were the initial challenges?

Of course, many people tried to convince my wife that I must be mad to locate a school in my rural area. That I should have built the school in Abuja and on a daily basis, I would be carrying money in big sacks to the bank. But it’s true, it has not been easy, because for every N3 I spend in the school, it is only N1 that comes from parents so far. At a point, there was no month that I did not spend about N1.2m on the school.

So, what gave you the courage to continue?

That was because I knew that the future holds great prospects because I went to Offa Grammar School, and from the history of that school, which we know, there were those who contributed six pence, there were those who contributed 1 shilling. It is through their magnanimous contribution and foresight that people like us became educated. Let me also leave something for posterity.

And, why are you not so keen about politics again? 

I have found that while politics is supposed to improve our society, the way we operate politics here is almost anti-development. Let me tell you something quickly: I tried to go to the Senate. In fact, it was not my wish, but people came to talk to me and I found out that to attain a political position in this country, you have to spend money. That itself breeds corruption, and, of course, I didn’t need it for various reasons.

First published on February 21, 2021.

Interview by Oaul Ukpabio, Lagos